The Commonality of Class Drag

Welcome back, lovers 💋 

This piece is inspired by a post that I wanted to make. After typing it, I realized that this topic is far deeper than one social media blurb could carry. This is that post:

"Performing class drag to keep up a cheery upscale look for marketing is a common reality of this job. The rosy lens online doesn't mean many workers aren't struggling in the current climate while keeping it sexy. Unstable income also drives retirement/second jobs. Respect the labor of all sex workers♥️"

First, I suppose it would help to explain what class drag actually is or can be. In sex work, performing wealth, luxury, a lifestyle above your true earnings and signaling a polished, luxurious and softly curated brand while living differently behind the curtain can be considered class drag. Wearing the uniform or aesthetic of a certain price caliber while doing so on a budget or through borrowed or rented means is far more typical than people may realize. 

I've personally never found an issue with this when it is pulled off smoothly. Curating an image for ourselves of any kind is very important in this business and lifestyle. People have proven for centuries that they appreciate & find pretty fantasies favorable to anything else. These tantalizing details aren't lies, they are perfectly tailored visuals that make a long stigmatized and looked down upon lifestyle feel more comfortable & normal. 

While I am doing very well for myself now & feel very comfortable with my place in the Whorearchy, I have at times performed class drag to keep the realities of my private life from ever sullying the time spent with my clients. 

Did I go as far to do photoshoots with empty designer bags and boxes to appear more elite? Fake being a piano maestro, posed tennis lessons, fake a PHd?

No. What I did do may be considered the same or worse though. Did I get away with it? Maybe, maybe not but I am here now & still thriving in the industry.

I remember in 2014 living in my run down, 70s two level townhouse. I was barely able to cover the quite affordable rent. I was packing for a fly me to you to NYC. If anything went wrong or this client canceled, I would be evicted this time. Luckily for my sake, this guy was a smart and savvy client who happened to know that several days with me at my rates equalled less than a dinner date or overnight with someone local in NYC & he was fully locked in. Relief was an understatement.

I carefully packed a gifted pair of basic black Louboutin pumps and nearly a thousand dollars in Agent Provocateur lingerie perfectly paired with a trench and dinner dresses into my chic little carry-on. The irony of having such nice things with next to no resale value and being so excited for the trip while worried about bills will never be lost on me. It had been an incredibly unstable Summer (they often are) and Autumn bookings were my hopeful chance to redeem myself. 

I'd already experienced outcalls to hotels that I could barely afford the parking garage for, stressing about using my debit card to get out until I could deposit my session earnings into a nearby bank (Years later, I would learn that a gentleman would pay for parking but I didn't know to even ask & they never actually offered unprompted). I'd experienced using my last bit of money to replace a tire so that I could commit to bookings for a tour I'd lined up weeks ahead. I'd experienced coming home with no money left to pay for ads and my water being shut off, my earnings from a tour just barely being enough to have everything turned on and a roof over my head. 

Back then, a cancellation or reschedule could spell disaster. The margins for time wasting or a failed tour were razor thin. Even with Summer jobs, it could get dicey. These days, I do have a buffer and substantial savings but it didn't come easy.

Getting to where I could finally be at ease did take some credit card charges, buying then selling property and some of my most beloved designer bags from lovers. I won't lie about that, it was a leg up that not everyone has. 

These days, marketing as an escort takes a lot more than an ad & a few photos. With scammers, Ai and influencers dabbling in sex work, it's hard to prove and constantly keep proving legitimacy.

Clients have admitted that the rough around the edges marketing is appealing to some degree. Often, they trust and go with the polished and sophisticated and long established web presence more. That takes dedication, time and often a good bit of money out of pocket to maintain.

I've done both, plain site, free ads with selfies and $2000 shoots with hundreds per month in ads. I can confirm that some of my more expensive photoshoots, paid ads, diligence with my SEO, more time spent on tailoring my candid content and considering my interactions does yield better results financially. Most will say they prefer the casual marketing and socials over ads, but my analytics & income are motivating factors on these decisions.

I know that if I focus more on showing designer items in my wardrobe, more time in airports, more dining and more wealth signaling I do engage a different caliber of clientele, it's always been that way. In my mid 20s I did a lot of that and found success and gifts beyond some of my wildest dreams. 

Unfortunately, being neurodivergent and having high expectations for myself led to burn out and deep, years long fatigue from constant masking plus a handy little eating disorder as a bonus.

I wouldn't call my current branding or marketing elite or high end by any means. I tend not to lead with my luxury items & trips but do have a more subtle way of being comfortably mid level+low maintenance. This has kept me in a more authentic relationship with my work & given me many more years of longevity (but less earned annually).

I love (some) pretty expensive designers, adore tasting menus, beautiful properties in exotic places and will never say that I'm not a lover of a plush lifestyle. I admit wholeheartedly that I am a leisure weasel, fond of life's creature comforts. You may not see me flaunting that as a means to an end, but it's true. 

Growing up in extreme poverty while often invited into elite circles with wealthy relatives and friends may have a bit to do with it. I enjoy some privacy, being underestimated as a super power and keeping my assets protected & to myself a bit more than I did when it was brand new and exciting for me. 

Even from a young age, I was dressed for the part and given clear instructions on mannerisms and behaviors. My silly demeanor & looks as an adult are a direct rebellion against that. I still have no regrets & value the language and learning I've had in rooms that only experience as an observer can give you. Plenty of millionaires are shameless when it comes to faking it til you make it or being given a generous and sizeable hand up, I don't see anything wrong with someone leveling up and polishing their brand in sex work to do the same. 

The beautiful thing about class drag is that it doesn't take heaps of cash to do it and getting the results from doing so actually does enhance things about our work, our image, the sessions we provide, the locations we host from and more. It directly benefits both parties in the long run.

Tragically, at some point or several times throughout a worker's career, they'll be performing their most glamorous, sexy and invigorating stunts for you while their refrigerator is empty and the overdue bills are looming in their doorway. 

Inconsistent income or dry periods in the industry do affect us all at some points. Even the top tier, most elite "trust fund/silver spoon" ads 5 socials you see will belong to someone who has experienced loss or hardship at some point, even if it was just a bad investment once or thrice. 

Not knowing for sure who is currently experiencing what at any given time is part of the pretty play, it also means having compassion for all workers. If you are blessed enough to have a natural, open and super honest relationship with your companion(s), that is the true luxury. Vulnerability is tough, but so is maintaining the illusion in a way that keeps this lifestyle carefree. 

With all things internet, survival work looks very different than it used to. I am thankful that it's given workers better ability to camouflage & get traction but know all too well that could now be anyone working extra hard to disguise poverty.

As a client, it's best not to investigate or try to sus out these things. Sometimes it's obvious, sometimes it's not. In either scenario it could push a boundary, come off creepy or seem predatory. 

During my "come up" I remember having clients see me when I was $200 per hour in my first years be very bothered with my branding showcasing nicer things and trips after I moved to a whopping $300 per hour back then. I had insecure men tell me that since I wasn't needy enough or in the survival category, I clearly didn't need their money.

I had them boast that they'd seek workers they thought were "more deserving".

I've had admirers tell me they'd sent gifts or tipped me in the past, but seeing me living a nice life (real or perceived) was insulting to them and if others were sending to me, why should they?

I had a client who would see me for one hour once or twice per year loudly break up with me when I took my first vacation to Europe at 26 after I got my first passport. His reasoning was that he couldn't afford to see me more so he wasn't good enough for me after seeing me shopping at a little outdoor market in Spain on my social media pages (while I had neglected to pay my utilities and they were shut off back home because yolo haha).

If this stuff sounds ridiculous, that's because it is ridiculous. 

I think all workers appreciate kindnesses big or small. I adore my clients regardless of how much time or money they can dedicate to our relationship. Most clients are secure in their interactions and transactions with us and the unique relationship they have with each of us. Some may try to punish us for wanting a better life, nicer things, bigger experiences and higher rates as we develop our brand and skills more, that's not the norm though. 

I value those who respect that not every single aspect of our lives will be showcased in the display window, not every tragedy need be aired and not every victory a brag. Hurt feelings have never hurt my pockets but an ego may get in the way of your own pleasure. 

If you do happen to enjoy the class drag guessing game, I can't blame you for being naturally curious or suspicious, just keep it in your pocket if you want to keep playing. 

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk 💋

Xoxo

-Your High Class Low Maintenance Long Distance Redhead Girlfriend in Atlanta