Sense & Sensitivities

Welcome back! It's been awhile.. it's story time!

Recently, I had a date that requested I not eat my lunch before our meeting. I had made plans for myself & had plenty of time set aside for my meals that day.

I know you are probably thinking, how dehumanizing, what a jerk, etc. However, the explanation made perfect sense & the communication was very appreciated by me.

He explained that he was hyper sensitive & that even after brushing and mouthwash it would likely trigger a bad response that could ruin the experience or even his whole day. He had already found this out during a date with someone else & noted that he should at least mention it beforehand. I'm glad he did.

Over the years, I have found myself to be more accommodating because I would hope that others also accommodate me. This is one of those things that I think we so rarely consider, but as an intimacy professional of 17 years I can say that it is more important than most people even know.

I have clients that I know for sure have sensitivities to scent, textures, taste, sound. I have clients who have extreme allergies that can trigger some pretty intense reactions or even death (yikes). I have others that are probably just naturally particular about things, but their experience and the time we share together is important to me.

I myself rarely talk about it, but I have some pretty intense aversions and sensitivities too. It wasn't always this way. I do think age changed things & after having covid the first time things really changed for me. I also have an inflammatory disorder that I deal with & manage day to day. My issues are mostly with textures, but some scents and being in the heat gets to me in ways it never did before. I've had to stop some sessions or end them early from feeling ill suddenly even just from something minor. This is something I'm more conscious of now & do my best to power through or if I'm smart & think ahead, not have to experience at all. Nobody is perfect & I'm sure you've heard that hot girls have tummy probz too.

When planning an intimate event with someone, I think it's important to factor into your day more than just hygiene. Diet, time of day that you take medications or supplements, how much you consume food/alcohol/water before, during or after, masturbation schedule, rest/sleep. Considerations for yourself and the other person can all have an effect on the experience you'll have together.

Was it she a bad date or was it something she ate? Am I uneasy because of nerves or was it gas? Mysteries of the universe I suppose.

Probably TMI, but I had to abruptly end an impromptu overnight and refund my client because after our post lunch nap, I had some distress from too much Mediterranean food. We both laughed it off when I promptly shooed him out so I could kill the bathroom in peace, but it really was a bummer & I should have done more to avoid that. I had to rush out of a date because of food poisoning from a burrito too & that guy never rescheduled (who could blame him really). Things happen but with a little forethought, maybe they don't have to.

Sharing a room, sharing bodies, sharing close personal space..these things matter.

I have watched the discourse for years about bathroom usage for incalls & clients offending their play partner. I have watched the discussions on separate rooms for trips and overnights. I've seen the great offense of requesting a provider change their food schedule or diet to accommodate. Over the years, I have come to form my own opinions on these matters.

Personally, I would rather someone that I have intimate plans with speak up and share with me what their needs are, make use of a bathroom vs. something tragic happening to the sheets (if you know, you unfortunately know haha). Every provider is different, they are their own person with their own set of rules, boundaries and needs. Maybe you'll get to know them enough to find those out, maybe you'll spend a beautiful but brief time together & never need to know.

I can only speak for myself, but your experience and comfort when spending time with me matter a lot. Caring for your body is important & knowing yourself & your needs in order to have the best date outcome is too.

Hydrate, use lube, avoid allergy or gastro triggers & speak up if you have needs or concerns..your provider is listening. 💋